One of my friends here at Cornell has criticized me publicly for not being a good Christian and praying in public. I have been asked by her, “Elliott, how come you never pray in the dining hall before you eat” or “How come I never see you praying?” Well, quite simply, I prefer to pray in private. The following scripture provides some rationale:

Matthew 6:5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

Matthew 6:6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

Why pray in public unless you want people to see you?

7 Responses to “Flaunting Christianity”

1. Jean says:

   2/6/2005 at 10:02 pm

   Look, Elliott, I think it’s probably your own guilt or shame for not looking “Christian” enough in front of other Christians that’s making you think I’m criticizing you [seriously, I don't know why you even bother about your Christian image because it seems to me that you see yourself better than Christians...why do you even care about what people below you think of you?]. To be honest, I don’t remember ever critizing you publicly about not praying. Who were the people I criticized you in front of? Do you even have other Christian friends whom I know? If they weren’t Christian, wouldn’t it be good that you didn’t look Christian in front of them? Maybe Kelly and I were just curious why you don’t thank God for the meal if you were Christian. I probably didn’t know you back then, and I’m a very curious, so I asked. Kelly’s not a Chrisitian, but I am, and she probably realized that I pray for the food before eating, so she doesn’t understand how not every Christian prays for food. My intent wasn’t malicious and now I wonder why now you feel so inclined to prove you’re right when I didn’t care enough about it to remember even asking you those questions. [For all I can remember now, you could have just made up the whole incident of me criticizing you to make me look bad like you always enjoy doing. Does making me look bad make you feel good about yourself? Is that why you always attack me and my religion?]

   I remember shortly after we first met, you kept saying that I think you’re not a good Christian just because you don’t go to church. I never accused you of anything of the sort; whether or not you’re a good Christian should be between you and God. Although I think that going to church and interacting with fellow Christians are important to me and I didn’t understand how you could feel fine with not going to church, I never forced you to go. I did suggest that you should make an effort to find a church and a fellowship which fits you b/c I think they can help you grow as a Christian. You think you’re too good for them and for the people who go there, so I can see why you feel you would be wasting your time if you went. Why would a rich prince want to soil his expensive garments by hanging out with unclean beggars? To make himself look good or to make the beggars look dirty? Either way, it’s kind of pointless for him. If you don’t have the right motive to do something, sometimes it might be better if you don’t do it at all.

   I don’t know why you’re bothered by how I think about the way you “act Christian.” I think it’s your conscience that tells you those things and somehow you don’t differenciate me and your conscience, so you reason that it’s easier to block out what someone else says than to block out your conscience. Were you fine with being Christian the way you were until I came along and then your conscience started to kick in? Is that why you attack me so often for being a Christian? Because I make you feel not Christian? Like I said, it should be between you and God. However, if you’re really fine with the Christian you are, I don’t think you would try to hide the fact that you’re a Christian in front of people or try so hard to convince Christians you’re a Christian, but you just think differently. It does make you seem like someone who’s not at peace with his relationship with God if you seek the approval of others regarding a personal relationship.

   I don’t judge people at church and fellowship based on how Christian they act. For some, it’s important to appear Christian and for others, it’s important to be sincere in their faith. I feel that I’m not a good enough Christian myself to be in a position to judge others; there are so many times that I fail that I have no right to tell another Christian that he or she is not living the Chrisitian life properly. I actually think that most people at fellowship think that I’m a weak Christian [I don't feel comfortable praying aloud, I would post 20 Xanga entries about some Japanese boyband but only one about God, I'm closer friends w/ non-Christians than most people at fellowship or church, I don't talk about how God's been working in my life with other Christians, etc.]. My non-Christian friends, although they’re not interested in Chrisitianity, know that my faith is important to me, that I live based on what I believe, and they respect me for that even if they choose to live differently or have different things they consider to be different. Perhaps you feel that you’re a better Chrisitian than me, or perhaps you think I act too Christian and it makes you look like a bad Christian. I think you’re focusing too much on trivial things. What matters for a Christian is to have a personal relationship with Jesus. You never talk about how your walk with Jesus is, so I don’t even have enough ground to judge how good of a Christian you are.

   I just feel that because you also consider yourself to be a Christian, you should understand best why I hold onto my values so dearly. However, it’s my non-Christian friends who respect and try to understand why my faith is so important to me while you attack me for being a Christian any oppurtunity you get. Often I feel like I’m the innocent scapegoat for your own internal battle of where to draw the line between being a true Christian and being a pretend Christian. If everyone at church and fellowship think that I’m a heretic, I don’t think that would make me less of a Christian than I am. Martin Luther was excommunicated from the Catholic church, but he founded the protestant revolution which focused more on believing in God than on rituals to escape eternal damnation [<=I always wanted to write that XD].

   Please sort out your own internal struggles unbiasedly because it seems like your need to always be right and your pride sometimes blind you. Please leave me out of this because I feel as if I’ve been the victim long enough and I’m tired of it. If you want my advice on anything, I would be glad to offer it, but I request that you respect my way of thinking even if you don’t agree with me or intend to take my advice. You’re a very intelligent person, so please use that intelligence to improve yourself and to help others instead of using it to harm others for the selfish sake of pride.

   Finally, there has been a question that I’ve always wanted to ask, but have always disregarded as rude:
   Why do you always offer to help girls?
   a. to be a gentleman because other guys these days are too dense and stupid to know how to be a gentleman so you feel sorry for the ladies
   b. because it makes God happy and you’re a Christian, so it’s important to be in good standing with God
   c. because it makes Asian girls happy and you have an Asian fetish
   d. to make yourself look good and other people look bad
   e. other [please explain]

   Reply
2. Elliott Back says:

   2/6/2005 at 10:52 pm

   Ah, Jean. You seem to missed the point of the post, which is neither to attack your beliefs, nor to defend myself as a Christian, nor to garner public approval, nor to cloud my guilt or shame, nor to prove that I am right! In fact, I simply stumbled across the following passages from Mathew which reminded me of this very old discussion around why I do not pray in public. I closed the post with the question, "Why pray in public," which you haven't answered here. You did, however, have quite a bit to say about me personally. Before I begin, I would just like to point out that in debate or philosophy, the type of discourse you left is called ad hominem, and formally requires no response. At its basic nature, it is both distracting and offense. Nevertheless, I shall give my polite rejoinder. You have a few points to make, though they are hard to sort out. I will try and list them here and respond in kind:

   You feel guilty about not looking "Christian"

   Actually, I don't feel guilty about anything.  I'm content with the way I live my life, and I believe that I am true to my Christianity, my morals, my God, and myself.  The reason for the post is not a justification of my guilt, but really a honeypot to entice interesting discussion about an old topic.  In that regard, it has failed entirely, since rather than discuss theology like civilized men and women, we have descended into name-calling.  Still, perhaps some good can come from this.

   You think you're better than Christians

   I must admit, I disagree with the way certain particular Christians live.  Now, "better" is such a vague word.  Do I think that particular examples of Christian belief are ridiculous?  Yes!  Do I think that I might personally have better ideas?  Sure.  But there are two distinctions.  One, there are so many Christians, some of whom I consider reasonable and excellent in every way–I do not disapprove of all Christians.  Two, even if I disagree with the particular lifestyle and beliefs of certain Christians, I generally would prefer to isolate the philosophical / theological disagreement from my relationship with them.

   You feel inclined to prove you're right or make me look bad

   Not particularly.  It's none of my business if you look bad or not, really, your own actions will set that record.  I left your name off of the post because I was more concerned with the questions involved than who had asked them.

   On the other hand, I don't need to prove that I am right or not, since I already hold an opinion I believe to be right!  This is supposed to be a Socratic dialog about an issue: I thought that maybe I'll learn something, or have a good discussion to enlighten me.

   I am your conscience, and you can ignore me more than that

   I don't really know how to respond to the claim that I associate you with my conscience, and so I try to put your ideas aside because it's easier than listening to the voice inside me.  Really, unless you can explain further, this seems nearly pathological….

   I make you feel like a non-Christian

   Since I am a Christian, it is a contradiction to say that I ever feel like a non-Christian.

   Real Christians don't hide their religion

   Now this is a statement the opposite of what I propose in the original post.  But…without any support, how can I discuss?  Real Christians do many things, including moderating their specific Christian behavior to fit in normally with their environment.  Christianity is a philosophical / theological lifestyle, not public action.

   Real Christians spend all their time on God

   I would say that Christians live their life according to the precepts of their religion.  This is a stronger sense of spending all your time "on God."

   Real Christians walk with Jesus

   This is what engenders my criticism.  Although I understand what you say, the abstract, Christian-specific terms you couch the idea in make it completely incomprehensible to a non-Christian.  Also, there are many Christians who use those terms but who do not know what they actually mean.  What does it mean to walk with Jesus, Jean?

   You should respect my way of thinking

   When your thoughts are reasonable, I shall agree.  When they are not, I shall vehemently disagree.  Either way, it doesn't affect how I treat you as a person.

   You also ask me some questions:

   Why do you care what people think of you?

   A man's reputation is an important thing.  I would prefer to be loved than hated.

   Who did I criticize you in front of?

   That occurred many months ago, in a public venue.  Who was there?  Certainly at least one of my friends, but I can't recall.  It's ancillary to the point, really.

   Do you have other Christian friends that I know?

   Yes.

   If they weren't Christian, isn't it good to look not Christian in front of them?

   Not necessarily. I prefer to look what I am, in any place.  And the scripture I cited is about looking Christian to be known as pious, for the sake of something else.  I want to be known as Christian simply because I am, naturally. I am what I am.

   Does making me look bad make you feel good about yourself?

   Again, I'm not trying to make you look bad–if you feel that you look bad when we have these discussions, perhaps there's something wrong with your arguments?

   Why do you attack me and my religion?

   I find Christian fundamentalism to be a dangerous illness of the American mind.  But I only discuss those particular beliefs, not the religion I share, nor you as my friend.

   Why do you always offer to help girls?

   I offer to help girls and boys, because some of them are my friends.  I am kind by nature, and quick to lend a hand.

   And that, my friends, is all. From here on, please turn your intellect on, and your hatred off. Discussion of the topic is appreciated! Discussion of Elliott is not!

   Reply
3. RazorsKiss.net says:

   2/7/2005 at 6:16 pm

   Requested: Public Prayer
   Someone emailed me yesterday, and asked me to provide my thoughts on whether prayer (over meals, specifically) in public is acceptable, per Matthew 6:5-6.

   Well, I’m going to make two caveats. One, I’m not going to link to the post in question, be…

   Reply
4. RazorsKiss says:

   2/7/2005 at 6:21 pm

   I want to make something clear.

   I’m not acting as a judge, or arbiter.

   I just exegeted the passage, and related passages, per strong’s greek concordance, and a bit of study – because I enjoy it, I was asked to, and it was an interesting question.

   You can look and see where the same Greek word is used elsewhere in scripture – and find the patterns/connections.

   Now, although blessing the food is, indeed, encouraged in Scripture, doing it pridefully is not – if it is in order to “show your godliness”.

   And, honestly… this needs to be solved between you, in private – if you ask me – which you didn’t.

   So… God bless, and hope you have a good evening.

   Reply
5. Elliott Back says:

   2/7/2005 at 6:46 pm

   Thanks for the explication of “eulogeo!”

   Reply
6. Andrew says:

   2/12/2005 at 7:07 pm

   I refuse to interject myself into this nest of consecutive heated allegation and counter-assertion concerning Elliott’s religious convictions and behaviours. That being said, I will detail as accurately as possible my own experiences with public manifestations of religion.

   I too am disinclined to participate in these public “flauntings” (ie: FCA), as you put it, not only because of the textual evidence provided, but also because the audacious ostentiousness inherent in it is not virtuous. Intrinsically, it is an impudent show in which people strive to look righteous in the eyes of their peers. Selfishness is usually the driving force for these individuals’ participation; they hope that their imitation of virtue may yield them a “Godly” image. I do not believe this to be the case across the board, but it is altogether quite plausible for particular instances, considering how every individual is self-seeking in their every action.

   Reply
7. wj says:

   4/1/2006 at 6:02 pm

   Look guys, did Jesus pray in public? Yes, a number of times. So, it is okay to do so. WJ

   Reply